Insanity and Stupidity
by MattieandMello
Summary: Misaki knows it's stupid. Knows that what his doing is reckless and unnecessary and so incredibly stupid. It's Sarumi and it's noncon! So if that kind of thing makes you uncomfortable please please don't read it!
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my first K fanfic as well as the first fic I've put up on this website! Yay! Maybe. If it's good. Anyway, I hope you like it!**

Misaki knows it's stupid. Knows that what he's doing is reckless and unnecessary and so incredibly stupid.

But that doesn't stop him. With their King captured HOMRA looks weak and that's something they definitely aren't. They've never been weak, not even without their King are they weak and Misaki's determined to show everyone that.

Swiftly skating through the alley ways Misaki doesn't hesitate on his turns. He knows exactly where he's going.

He's going to take out a blue.

Or at the very least send a blue to the hospital and maybe some therapy sessions.

It doesn't help that he's pissed off either. It would've been a lie if he said he wasn't upset, but he wasn't going to say anything to anyone about that. His pride wouldn't allow him to ever be visibly upset in front of anyone. Well, he might've cried in front of Saruhiko a few times. But that didn't count. Saruhiko was a traitor and Misaki would never be fooled by that damned monkey again.

And now Misaki's even more furious. Whoever he caught was going to regret ever being born.

Pushing off the ground Misaki forced his board to move even faster, now even more determined to beat someone's head in. Everyone would know not to mess with HOMRA after this. Swerving to a stop at the end of the alley a smirk finds its way onto the boy's face. It hadn't even taken him 30 seconds to find his victim.

The blue's walking alone down the empty street, and as he passes under a streetlight Misaki can tell he's wearing a hoodie. Said hoodie is covering his face, but the uniform is clearly still being worn by this person. It's a man Misaki decides, the chest is too flat for it to be a girl and for that he is thankful. If it were a girl he would've been screwed.

Silently Misaki presses his back up against the wall of the alley, the footsteps of the blue getting closer and closer.

It won't be long now . . .

Footsteps get louder and Misaki knows he's only got a couple more seconds before he'll be noticed. And just like that the blue is at the entrance of the alley and Misaki is raising his bat to take a swing at him.

Reflexively the blue's hand shoots out to grab onto the baseball bat, but Misaki grins and readjusts his angle managing to slam the metal into the blue's stomach. A choked noise comes out of the blue's mouth then and Misaki freezes at the familiar noise.

No.

Of all the people he could've jumped . . .

"Oh, if it isn't Mi-Sa-Ki~"

Misaki stares with wide eyes for a second before they harden back into a glare, "You damned monkey!" Taking another swing at the younger boy Misaki really shouldn't be surprised when Saruhiko easily grabs a hold of the bat and flings him into a wall.

Groaning Misaki can feel a dull pain starting to pound in his head, god damn, had Saruhiko really gotten so strong already?

"What might you be doing her Mi-Sa-Ki?" Saruhiko drawled out smirking at the glare the older boy sent him. "Tch, it's none of your business and don't fucking say my name, monkey!"

"Oh? I think it is my business given you just attacked me don't you think?" Says Saruhiko and Misaki balls his hand into a fist because, really, he hadn't expected tonight to go like this. If anything it was only supposed to take an hour for him to beat the crap out of some blue and get back to HOMRA. Not spend forever trying to kill this damn monkey.

Smiling slyly Saruhiko taunts, "I bet it's all for your precious Mikoto isn't it? You're such a drama queen."

Glaring Misaki growls "Shut the fuck up! You don't know a thing about what I'm doing here!"

Rolling his eyes Saruhiko mocks, "Oh yeah, it's so obvious that you're just trying to look strong when you're so obviously not. Look at you Misaki. I haven't even begun yet and you're breathing heavy. It's quite sad really. Mikoto would be disappointed in you."

Red flames start flaring up around Misaki's body, and Saruhiko grins maliciously as his own blue and red flames start sprouting as well. "Shut the hell up! You don't know anything! We're way stronger than you fucking blues!"

Saruhiko grins, "Let's see it then . . . Mi-Sa-Ki~"

Grinding his teeth together Misaki lunges at Saruhiko ready to ram his bat into the younger boy's stomach, his flames licking around the metal as well. "You bastard, I'll kill you!"

Chuckling Saruhiko easily avoids the attack bringing the hilt of his sword down against Misaki's back.

_Fuck, when had he gotten his sword out?_

Wincing at the pain now throbbing in his back Misaki glared at his former friend, "Fucker!" Taking another swing, Misaki made sure that this time Saruhiko wouldn't see through his attack. Instead of only using his bat he swung his legs around, managing to catch Saruhiko's side. Pushing off of the younger boy Misaki watched him stumble backwards.

Smirking Misaki called, "Don't underestimate me you son of a bitch!"

The smirk slowly dropped off of Misaki's face though when he heard Saruhiko begin chuckling manically. Brows furrowing Misaki shouts, "Oi! What's so funny you damned monkey!?"

Looking up Saruhiko sends the older boy a bone chilling grin, "Maybe . . . you're the one who shouldn't be underestimating me."

Misaki didn't even get a chance to ask what the monkey meant before a knife came whizzing at him. Gasping the older boy barely managed to get out of the way of the knife before it hit his arm. He heard the sound of metal hitting concrete somewhere behind him, but he didn't dare take his eyes off of Saruhiko.

A playful gleam shimmered in Saruhiko's eyes and if Misaki said it wasn't creeping him out he would've be lying. He'd seen Saruhiko at his lowest points, yet he'd never seen him like this. If he didn't know better he'd say the younger boy looked insane.

Well that really wasn't too far off from what Misaki already thought of him, but this was different. This kind of insane was scaring him.

"Saru? What's gotten into you?" Misaki asked quietly almost afraid of the answer, but if anything Saruhiko's grin just widened. It almost looked like his face would split in half if he smiled anymore.

"Oh nothing, my dear Misaki. But I do believe it's time I really show you how strong I've gotten." Saruhiko laughed starting to make his way towards where Misaki was standing, knives gripped tightly in his hands.

Biting his lip Misaki couldn't have moved if he wanted to. It was like he was petrified by the look on the younger boy's face. Saruhiko twirled one of his knives in between his fingers and Misaki barely even noticed it was being flung at him before it was snagging onto the sleeve of his shirt.

Much to Misaki's surprise the force of the knife was enough to have him staggering back into the alley's wall. Banging his head against the bricks he let out a pained groan before looking back up to where Saruhiko was still approaching. Suddenly snapping back to reality Misaki tugged at the knife that had pierced through his shirt and held it up between him and the younger boy.

What a stupid move that had been.

The knife burst into blue flames immediately burning Misaki's hand. Dropping the knife with a pained yelp the older boy reached for his baseball bat, which he had must've dropped at some point.

Fuck, if he wanted to survive this he needed to get his shit together.

He didn't even make it halfway to where his bat was laying before Saruhiko had thrown another knife at him, this time piecing through the skin of his calf. A pained gasp left Misaki's lips and his knees buckled sending him to the ground. Gripping at the wound around where the knife was buried Misaki glared up at Saruhiko, "Y-you bastard!"

With that same grin still on his face Saruhiko bent down to cradle Misaki's face gently, "You're really quite beautiful Misaki. I've always thought you were. But ever since you joined HOMRA it's always been about Mikoto. Mikoto this and Mikoto that. I never hated him as a person per say, I just hated the effect he had on you."

Frowning Misaki tried in vain to pull his face away from Saruhiko's grip, "Wh-what the hell are you going on about?"

"I'm talking about how he _stole_ you from me. You're mine Misaki. Nobody else can have you." Saruhiko explained his gentle caress turning into a firm, almost bruising, grip.

The grip on his jaw made it hard to snap at the younger boy, but Misaki was surprised when the grip slide from his jaw down to his throat.

"Oi! Stupid monkey what're you doing!?" Misaki cried thrashing slightly, but was quickly shut up when Saruhiko pushed down on his throat effectively cutting off his means of breathing.

Gasping slightly for breath Misaki raised his hands to pull at Saruhiko's hands, but it was no use. "S-stop . . . let go . . .S-Saru . . ."

The smile that Saruhiko shot down at him made his skin crawl, but he was more focused on trying to pull his hands off of his neck. He was starting to get dizzy now, and he's almost positive the edges of his vision shouldn't be black. This was bad. This was really bad.

By the time Misaki had thought to use his flames he was already slipping into unconsciousness, Saruhiko's chuckling echoing in his mind.

**AN**: Did you like it? Was it any good? I really wanna know what you think and if anyone wants I'll make another part which will more than likely have smut in it! Please review telling me if you liked it or not or if you have any helpful criticism! Thank you for reading! :)


	2. Chapter 2

_Frowning Misaki watched tears drip from Saruhiko's eyes. What had happened? Why was his friend crying?_

_No. No he's not your friend you shouldn't be worrying about him. Who cares if the bastard's crying? Misaki scowled at himself._

_Even though Misaki desperately tried not to he couldn't help but wonder why the younger boy was crying. He wasn't about to say that he was worrying of course, but never in the years that he'd known Saruhiko had he seen the boy cry like this. _

_Eyes squeezed shut tightly, tears rushing down his face, hands wiping at the constant wetness on his cheeks that were tinged just the slightest bit pink. Saruhiko was sobbing now, his shoulders shaking and his palms pressing against his close eyes in a struggle to stop the tears. _

_The desperation of Saruhiko's cries was what really got to Misaki though. There had never been a time that Misaki had seen Saruhiko like this. Driven to the point where he couldn't control his emotions even a tiny bit. It had always been Saruhiko who had to keep Misaki calm, not the other way around. _

_Misaki was at a loss of what to do. Biting his lip the older boy took a hesitant step towards the other. He may not have cared about Saruhiko, but he was definitely going to figure out what had made him like this._

_Shit, he wasn't even making sense anymore._

"_Y-you . . ." Freezing Misaki stopped his steps staring at Saruhiko with wide eyes, "You left me."_

_Misaki wanted to scream, but nothing would come out He wanted to shout at Saruhiko, 'I left you!? You're the one that left me; you're the one that left HOMRA! Abandoned our friendship and the friendships we'd made! Don't tell me that I left you!'_

_Before he had the chance to even open his mouth though, Saruhiko's form was disintegrating around the edges. Red flames burned at his sides, and even though it should've been painful not a sound slipped from Saruhiko's lips aside from the desperate sobs he cried._

_And all too soon, Saruhiko had disappeared right before Misaki's eyes._

Waking with a start Misaki could instantly feel that his arms were trapped together in what looked like wooden handcuffs. Sitting up on the bed he was on, Misaki looked around the room he was in. He was surprised to see it was just like any other typical bedroom. There was a desk in the corner with a small radio on it, a mirror on the wall, two doors one that probably led out of the room and another that probably opened into a closet.

A pounding in his head soon made itself noticed and Misaki groaned at the pain, dropping his head slightly so it rested against his arm. He had to get out of here. Saruhiko was sure to be back soon and he really didn't want to be around when that happened. Especially with how the younger boy had been acting before.

That almost crazed look in his eyes, and stomach churning grin. But what about his dream? That Saruhiko didn't seem nearly as menacing as this one, but he did seem just as confusing.

Misaki felt like slapping himself. Why did the Saruhiko in his dream even matter? It was a dream and that Saruhiko didn't exist.

What if the real Saruhiko did feel like that though? What if he believed that Misaki really had left him? Shaking his head Misaki frowned; it was stupid for him to be worrying about something so trivial. He needed to focus on finding a way to escape.

Looking at the cuffs around his hand it didn't take long for a grin to settle on his lips. That monkey sure was an idiot putting wood around his hands to try and confine him. Letting his flames out Misaki watched to see the wood crackle and burn off of his wrists.

Much to his surprise though the wood wasn't burning. Forcing his flames to burn hotter Misaki let out a pained yelp when they instead started burning him. What the hell was this!?

A door knob jiggled then and Misaki's head shot up to stare at Saruhiko with wide eyes, the younger boy smirking slyly in return. "Looks like you've woken up, Mi-Sa-Ki~"

Growling Misaki spat, "Shut up you bastard! What the hell are these!? Get them off of me!"

Eyeing Saruhiko, Misaki balled his hands into fists at his helplessness. His flames were useless and his arms were trapped. Well . . . that did leave his legs free.

As soon as Saruhiko was close enough Misaki swung his legs off the bed, managing to land as powerful of a kick he could in his current situation. Almost immediately he was jumping off the bed and racing towards the door, relieved that the younger boy had been stupid enough to leave it cracked open slightly.

Saruhiko crashed into him from behind though, and he was pushed harshly up against the door that had been slammed shut in the process. Cursing under his breath Misaki fought fruitlessly thrashing his legs and arms anyway he could to get free. "Let go of me! Dammit monkey I said let go!"

With narrowed eyes Saruhiko grabbed a hold of the wood restraining Misaki's arms and pulled the boy to the bed shoving him down onto the sheets, "Don't make me tie your legs down too, you idiot."

Gulping Misaki tried not to appear weak as he glared up at Saruhiko, "What the fuck are you playing at Saru?"

Not answering Saruhiko climbed up on top of Misaki, his weight keeping the older boy's legs pinned down on the bed. Struggling Misaki let out a frustrated shout, "Just fucking let me go already! What do you even want!?"

Still remaining silent Saruhiko let a smirk slip onto his face. Slipping his hand up under Misaki's shirt Saruhiko let out a little chuckle at the older boy's squeak, "H-hey! What're you doing!? Stop it!"

Pinching at Misaki's nipples Saruhiko dropped his head down to kiss at the older boy's neck. Shrinking away from the boy on top of him Misaki whimpered, his breath already starting to speed up, "Wh-what are you doing?"

"You haven't figured it out Mi-Sa-Ki~? You really are a virgin." Saruhiko teased pulling away from Misaki's neck to admire the dark purple mark he'd made on the pale skin. Pulling his hand out from under the boy's shirt he tugged gently at Misaki's shorts.

Almost instantly Misaki was crying out, "Stop! What do you think you're doing!? Get off!"

Swinging his arms around even Misaki was surprised when he managed to slam the wooden cuffs into Saruhiko's shoulder. Pain shoots through his arm, and the younger boys can't help the small groan of pain he lets out. Misaki might be small, but that didn't mean he wasn't strong. No it was quite the opposite.

Saruhiko's arm throbbed angrily and he knew that he was going to be sore for a while. Glaring down at Misaki he growled, "Stop making this difficult, and stop moving."

There was a certain venom in Saruhiko's voice this time that caught Misaki's attention. The tone Saruhiko was using was foreign to him. When had Saruhiko ever snapped at him like that? An unspoken threat was obviously hidden behind those words and they stopped Misaki's struggling just long enough for the younger boy to flip him over, holding his arms above his head.

"Oi! What the hell do you think you're doing!? I swear I'll kill you!" Misaki yelled, his temper flaring up again.

Sighing irritably Saruhiko could feel his patience wearing thin. It was definitely fun to hear Misaki run his mouth, but all of his commanding was getting annoying. He'd rather hear lewd noises coming from the boy's mouth than angry remarks.

Yanking Misaki's pants down to his ankles before flinging them away, he easily hooked his finger on the boy's boxers as well. Smirking Saruhiko watched the older boy's eyes widen as he pulled his boxers off.

For once during this whole ordeal Misaki was speechless. He didn't know what to say. _This_ is what Saruhiko wanted? After all this time?

Misaki wasn't going to lie. When they were younger he would've definitely been willing to do something like this, but now . . . they'd changed. Saruhiko wasn't the same Saruhiko he used to be. Sure his cold attitude hadn't changed much, but he hadn't ever done anything to upset Misaki back then. They'd worked together like a perfect team. Saruhiko always had his back; even when he didn't realize it. Saruhiko was the one and only person Misaki had ever truly trusted.

He didn't even trust Mikoto like he used to trust Saruhiko.

But the Saruhiko he'd fallen in love with all those years ago was gone now, and he wasn't about to accept the new Saruhiko. The new Saruhiko was different in ways that Misaki had trouble explaining. He mocked Misaki constantly and the trust that had once been between them was completely destroyed.

He couldn't let Saruhiko do this to him. Not like this. When they were enemies. When there wasn't any love in it like there could have been.

"S-Saru, wait! Let go of me! You can't-" Misaki was cut off by Saruhiko pushing his lips against the older boy's.

Misaki didn't even have a chance to think before the younger boy was shoving his tongue down his throat. Choking slightly Misaki thrashed against him for a minute before managing to break the kiss.

Coughing a little Misaki panted as Saruhiko smirked down at him. Meeting the younger boy's eyes Misaki wasn't really sure what he expected to see in those blue eyes, but he certainly hadn't anticipated the crazed excitement in his eyes.

Saruhiko really had gone insane hadn't he?

"I've wanted this for a long time Misaki, but right when I'd worked up the nerve to tell you that damned Mikoto showed up." Saruhiko growled forcefully shoving himself between the older boy's legs.

Crying out Misaki squirmed frantically trying to get away from Saruhiko, "Wh-what are you talking about!? Fuck, stop it!"

"You left me!" Saruhiko shouted loudly, shocking Misaki into silence. _You left me_. The same words Saruhiko had choked out in his dream_. _

Misaki shakes his shock off and yells back, "I left you!? How can you say that!? You're the one that left! You left me Saru!"

The sound of a slap echoes in the room and Misaki can feel his cheek stinging where Saruhiko's hand had landed. "Shut up! You're the one that forgot about me! Ever since you started your stupid little game of family it was Mikoto, Mikoto, Mikoto!"

Shaking his head slightly, Misaki didn't know what he should be feeling. Did Saruhiko really feel that way? Was it really his fault all of this had happened? Of course he'd never relied on anyone as much as he had Saruhiko, but he'd still managed to make Saruhiko feel this way?

"No . . . no Saru I-" Misaki was cut short when Saruhiko growled, "Shut up Misaki."

Keeping his mouth shut Misaki was surprised when he was suddenly pulled onto his knees. His arms were still stuck uncomfortably above his head, but he noticed they'd been released from Saruhiko's grip. A hand slide down his back and he felt his breath hitch when it reached the curve of his ass.

Scooting up on the bed and away from the hand Misaki breathed, "Saru, stop-"

His beanie is torn off of his head, and his hair is roughly pulled back making him yelp. Saruhiko's voice is cold in his ear, sending shivers down his spine, "I told you to shut up Misaki. Do you want me to gag you?"

Misaki can feel his body trembling under Saruhiko's touch and he remains silent as the younger boy continues to touch him. Biting his lip and squeezing his eyes shut Misaki tries to imagine that they're doing this differently. Pretends he isn't bound, and Saruhiko isn't insane and they're younger and not enemies. He pretends there's some sense of love in Saruhiko's actions.

He almost snorts at that, because there is a sense of love in what Saruhiko is doing to him. But it's sick and twisted and not the kind of love Misaki wants from him. This isn't what he wants at all.

Seeing the hint of a smile on Misaki's lips Saruhiko smirks, "Oh so you're enjoying this then Mi-Sa-Ki~?"

Misaki's ready to snap back at the younger boy, but Saruhiko is quick to push one of his fingers into the boy. Crying out the older boy's back arches away from the intrusion, and even if it doesn't necessarily hurt he's sure that it's going to soon enough. "Saru, stop it! I'm serious-"

"So am I Misaki, now if you're not going to make any lewd noises, then kindly shut the fuck up." Saruhiko growls impatiently pushing a second finger into Misaki's tight entrance. Gasping Misaki balls his hands into fists. There's the pain he'd been waiting for. Biting his lip hard enough to make it bleed Misaki forces himself to stay quiet. If he couldn't escape from this, then he at least wasn't going to do what Saruhiko wanted.

Thrusting his fingers carelessly into the boy Saruhiko frowns at the silence coming from the boy. He might've told him to shut up earlier, but that was when he'd been annoying and demanding for him to stop. Now he wanted to hear Misaki. Wanted to hear all the whimpers and whines of pleasure he'd let out once he accepted what was happening.

Still shaking slightly Misaki couldn't help the short whine he let out when a third finger was added inside of him. He wanted nothing more than to make Saruhiko stop, but he knew he couldn't do that and he'd be damned if he started begging the younger boy.

"C'mon Misaki, moan for me why don't you?" Saruhiko hummed lightly in the older boy's ear nipping at the skin, causing a shiver to run down Misaki's spin.

Grinding his teeth together Misaki spits out, "F-fuck you."

Pulling his fingers out suddenly Saruhiko growled, "No, no Misaki, it is _me_ who is going to fuck you."

Fear gripped at the older boy's heart but he forced the feeling down, and glared as menacingly as he could at Saruhiko. It happened fast really. Saruhiko's pants were off in seconds and he was spitting into his hand to slick up his cock. Misaki wasn't stupid though. He knew he wasn't nearly prepared enough, and to do it with spit as lube? It would hurt like hell if he didn't somehow manage to stop this.

Time was running out though, and before he could think up anyway to get out of this mess once in for all something hard was positioning itself at his entrance. In a fit of panic Misaki cried, "W-wait! Saru this . . . this isn't what it's supposed to be like!"

Saruhiko looked up from where he'd been ready to push into Misaki's body and tilted his head to the side, "Oh whatever do you mean Mi-Sa-Ki~?"

"I-It's not supposed to be like this! There's . . .there's supposed to . . . you know be love or whatever! Not this!" Misaki stammered almost embarrassed but he didn't have much time to feel that way because Saruhiko was cackling madly to himself. Really if Misaki hadn't already thought the younger boy was crazy this sealed the deal. What the hell was so funny!?

"I've always loved you Misaki. This _is_ love." Saruhiko explained, still laughing quietly, "This is love. Because I love you and you love me."

Not letting Misaki say anything else Saruhiko shoved his length into the older boy in one swift movement. The shock of the motion was enough to stun Misaki for a second, but soon enough a searing pain was making itself present. He couldn't have held the scream back if he tried.

The sound ripped through the air, but it was almost like Saruhiko had gone deaf. Choked sobs tumbled out of Misaki's mouth and the tears he'd been holding back were streaming down his cheeks. How could Saruhiko hurt him like this? Of course they'd tried to kill each other multiple times, but this was different. This was almost . . . torture.

No, it _was_ torture. The boy he'd once loved violating him like this? It wasn't right. It was too much. He couldn't handle this. Misaki's helpless struggles were soon weakened by exhaustion until he went limp; his body completely under Saruhiko's control.

Yelps and cries of pain continued to flow from his mouth, but he didn't fight them anymore. It was no use trying to stop them anyway. With every thrust of Saruhiko's hips a new pain exploded inside of Misaki and no matter what he did he couldn't dull the sting.

Everything hurt. His head was throbbing with all of his emotions, his eyes were burning from all of his tears, his muscles were sore from the useless struggling, and his ass was in a whole world of hurt. Though that might not have been what hurt Misaki the most.

What hurt him the most was his heart. After everything they'd been through Saruhiko could do something like this so easily? Searching the younger boy's eyes Misaki couldn't find a hint of remorse. The best friend-that he'd loved nonetheless- was so far gone that even hurting him like this didn't bother him.

_It's my fault though._

_He's like this because of me. Just like he said, I left him. I hurt him first. We had been together for years and I left him for people I'd only just met. What kind of friend was I? _

Squeezing his eyes shut Misaki understood what was wrong now. He'd broken Saruhiko. He'd driven him to this. Everything that went wrong between them was his fault.

His stupidity had led to Saruhiko's insanity.

**AN**: So how'd you like it? Do you think I should leave it like this or what? Please please tell me what you think! And thank you so much for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Misaki turned over in his sleep, and a sudden jolt of pain startled him into consciousness. Whimpering quietly he sat up gingerly and tried to keep as much weight off of his ass as possible. It didn't take him long to recall everything that had happened the night before.

Or maybe it was still night?

He didn't know nor did he really care.

His hands were still trapped in those damned wooden cuffs and he was in so much physical and emotional pain he couldn't even bring himself to try to struggle again. All Misaki wanted was to go back to his apartment curl up in bed and stay there forever.

The vanguard was given no such luxury however as the door opened and Saruhiko made his way into the room. Smirking slightly the younger boy hummed pleasantly, "Ah, awake now are we Mi-Sa-Ki~?"

Not answering Misaki tried to ignore the slight twinge in his heart. How was Saruhiko so casual after he'd . . . done _that_?

Saruhiko's smirk dropped off of his face at Misaki's silence and he angrily made his way over to the older boy, taking advantage of the pain he was still in, to grab a hold of his chin. Yanking Misaki's head up he forced the boy to look into his eyes and hissed, "I'm talking to you, _Misaki_."

Whimpering quietly Misaki normally would've wanted to kill himself for making such a pathetic noise, but he couldn't really bring himself to care right now. His spirit was completely broken. Shattered. The _pride_ he'd once had may as well have been completely gone.

What pride could he possibly have in himself now that he knew what he'd done?

Choking back tears Misaki muttered, "I'm . . . I'm sorry."

Saruhiko frowned, "What?"

"I'm sorry!" Misaki cried, his vision blurring with wetness, "Ok?! I'm sorry! I-I didn't know! I-I would have . . . I would have done s-something if I knew!" A few sobs tumble out of his mouth before he continues, quieter this time, "I'm sorry th-that I hurt you, that I m-made you feel alone and sad, I-I promise those were never m-my intentions."

Dumbstruck Saruhiko isn't really sure what he's supposed to do. He'd expected a lot of things to happen this morning, most of them included fucking Misaki again while the older boy yelled angrily at him. But not this. Not Misaki . . . crying. And especially not Misaki crying over something like this.

This was an outcome Saruhiko hadn't foreseen at all.

"Misaki?"

The older boy was still sobbing hopelessly, tears streaming down his face and dripping off of his chin. With his hands still trapped he had no chance at stopping his cries and Saruhiko almost felt bad enough to set him free.

Key word: Almost.

Sitting down on the bed Saruhiko moved so he could wrap an arm around Misaki's shoulders and pull him close. Reaching over to his bedside table he grabbed a tissue and wiped gingerly at Misaki's face until it was mostly cleared of tears. Though it wasn't long before they were replaced with new ones.

Misaki's sobs didn't stop, but Saruhiko did notice that the boy was mumbling to himself between his cries, "I'm so sorry, Saru, I'm sorry. Pl-please forgive me. I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for Misaki?" Saruhiko asks, though he's pretty sure he knows why Misaki is apologizing. He just wants to hear the vanguard say it.

"I-I left you! I was stupid and selfish and I left you alone!" Misaki wailed.

Saruhiko doesn't say anything for a minute just holds Misaki against his chest and lets the older boy cry. Misaki's still hiccupping and sniffling quietly when Saruhiko starts talking, "You know . . . it's not all your fault."

Misaki's eyebrows scrunch together, and his teary eyes cloud over with confusion, but Saruhiko's continuing before he can ask any questions, "I left you too."

The statement is said so quietly that Misaki almost misses it, but he's glad he didn't.

"I left you and didn't even try to fix things, and then I went and . . . and . . ." Saruhiko doesn't bother to finish his sentence because Misaki knows what he's talking about. He's talking about what they did last night.

Still trembling lightly Misaki stammers, "B-but I-"

Saruhiko cuts him off, but this time he isn't harsh or throwing cutting words at him. No, he's pressing a gentle kiss to the older boy's lips. At first Misaki isn't sure what to do, because he's never _actually_ been kissed before. Not like this at least.

The lock on the handcuffs click open then and Misaki feels his arms slumping down to their normal place, his shoulders sore and wrists burning red. Now that he's free Misaki realizes that he could push Saruhiko away, but he doesn't.

This is almost the Saruhiko he'd longed for when they were younger. Not the same Saruhiko, but pretty close, so pushing him away seems wrong in a way.

Saruhiko pulls back then and his eyes are a vivid blue around the edges, his pupils blown from the kiss. Misaki pants from lack of air, glancing up at Saruhiko warily, worried that he could suddenly snap back to the Saruhiko Misaki had grown to hate.

That doesn't happen though. Instead Saruhiko whispers in Misaki's ear, "I love you. I always have."

"I-I . . . I love you too." Misaki murmurs back.

Saruhiko smiles and Misaki does his best to return the gesture but it's a strained movement.

Maybe for now Saruhiko was the boy he loved, but what if he changed back? Became the monster that Misaki didn't want to recognize? What would he do then?

Misaki was pulled back to lie on the bed, comfortably settled in the crock of Saruhiko's arm. Snuggling deeper into the warmth of the younger boy Misaki decided that was a bridge he would cross when he got to it.

Which was probably a stupid decision, but really? When aren't his decisions incredibly and most utterly stupid?

**AN:** Alrighty so, I got people asking for more, and I feel this is a good closing for this story yes? Maybe? I don't know but as this was my first story on here and it got a positive response I'll probably be writing more stuff :3 Thank you so much for reading and please tell me what you think! 3

(If people want more then I'll try and figure out some way to keep it going, but it might take a bit, sorry. Hopefully you'll be able to wait for a little while as I figure things out.)


	4. Author Note

Oh god, guys, I'm so so happy that you all want more! And I'm gonna try and update soon! (School's been a bit demanding lately, soz) I promise I read all of the reviews I get so don't worry about that bit. I've been a bit reluctant to put an author's note up because when I'm reading I always get slightly disappointed when the update was not a chapter but a note about something or the other. So I'll try and get an update up soon, and that'll replace this note! Thank you so so much for all your positive reviews and I'll hopefully be able to get something up soon! :)

(Soon means a few days if I have the time to write. I'll update this weekend at the latest though!)


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